E4 have finally seen sense and returned One Tree Hill to a peak-time slot. From July 11th, the top drama that was unfairly overshadowed by the faddish OC will be showing at 9pm on Wednesdays. Just in time for Lucas to discover just what happened to Keith during the high-school massacre (in the episode that I'm not convinced E4 has dared show yet). Result!
UPDATE: It seems One Tree Hill's promotion to primetime is just a one-off to cover the revelation about what happened during the high-school massacre. Too bad, but at E4 are actually going to show this episode.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Elizabeth Hackford, we salute you
While Tycoon has little to recommend itself, its saving grace is the casting and it's whole good vs evil theme. While both Tom and Lauren are quite awful creatures who will eventually fail, the most magnificently inept businesswoman of the series - and thus the one who will suffer most - is fruity -vodka-peddler Elizabeth Hackford.
Apparently having given up a £60,000-a-year job to make a go of her smoothie/alcohol hybrid drink, Elizabeth's penchant for bursting into tears at the slightest thing puts her into a different league to the rest of the competitors. This week's highlight has to be Elizabeth turning on the waterworks to the news that dorky rival Justin was going to meet Paul McKenna. Along with the tears, she constantly likes to confide in the camera-crew that she's 'worker her arse off', a thought that should not even be projected post watershed.
It would actually be quite nice to see Elizabeth win as the producers have clearly set her up to take a fall in much the same way Katie was in The Apprentice. But, as Britain's Got Talent proves, if you're a bit of loser with a sob story to tell, you're always going to be a winner on ITV1.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Look! It's Lucas and Walliams in Neighbours...
...and it's absolutely as pointless as you'd expect. Toadie's a comic genius and the Little Britain duo just can't compete. Just his slight reaction to what's going on is far funnier than Andy and Lou's escapades.
And note to Neighbours producers: please burn down the Scarlet Bar as soon as possible, that and the General Store are the least convincing sets in the show's history. And I'm including Philip Martin's newsagents in that...
And note to Neighbours producers: please burn down the Scarlet Bar as soon as possible, that and the General Store are the least convincing sets in the show's history. And I'm including Philip Martin's newsagents in that...
ITV in good drama shocker...
With all the good US stuff on hiatus, I'm being forced to get my drama kicks from the current crop of British series. Proving rather more enjoyable than expected is ITV1's Time of Your Life, a curious mish-mash of Cold Feet, Cutting It and As If.
The whole 'waking up from a coma after 18 years' thing is little more than a macguffin to hang a load of tangled relationship plots on. Kate's been out cold for yonks, her best friend is now a watered down version of Anna from This Life, her boyfriend's engaged to someone half his age, her other friends are an unfulfilled housewife and a sexually confused nurse, her parents are on the brink of divorce, while one of her pals died on the night of the coma-inducing incident. This last plot thread offers a little bit of Twin Peaks-style intrigue which will be slowly drip-fed to us over the next few weeks.
It's all pretty entertaining stuff, and far better than you'd expect for Monday night ITV1. What with this and Debbie Horsefield's follow up to Cutting It, True Dare Kiss, coming up later in the week, perhaps I can finally be weened off the American stuff. But that's highly unlikely.
The whole 'waking up from a coma after 18 years' thing is little more than a macguffin to hang a load of tangled relationship plots on. Kate's been out cold for yonks, her best friend is now a watered down version of Anna from This Life, her boyfriend's engaged to someone half his age, her other friends are an unfulfilled housewife and a sexually confused nurse, her parents are on the brink of divorce, while one of her pals died on the night of the coma-inducing incident. This last plot thread offers a little bit of Twin Peaks-style intrigue which will be slowly drip-fed to us over the next few weeks.
It's all pretty entertaining stuff, and far better than you'd expect for Monday night ITV1. What with this and Debbie Horsefield's follow up to Cutting It, True Dare Kiss, coming up later in the week, perhaps I can finally be weened off the American stuff. But that's highly unlikely.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Here come the drums...
I was pleasantly surprised by the penultimate episode of Doctor Who. It's nice to see that the cash saved on the cheapo, non-creepy statue episode has been spent well here, on car chases, swish sets, some half-decent effects and a few star turns. Even Barrowman was less irksome than usual, confined to a bit part despite his now star billing. (Though still able to put in a plug for his derisory Torchwood series.)
The whole episode felt like a high-budget version of The Demon Headmaster, which is no bad thing. Finding out more about the oft-mentioned Time War - and the Doctor's early days - was also a boon, and it's really high time that Freema Agyeman was given a chance to be the kick-ass hero of the piece - let's hope she does it make it through to the next series, though there is something very strange going on with all those tabloid stories...
John Simm's not doing too bad a job as the Master - not as sinister as I remember from my childhood, but equally coming into his own against David Tennant in the sub-Timothy Claypole-acting-style stakes. Sharing the same infatuation with humankind as the Doctor, it seems the Master may not prove to be the outright villain of the piece and some Silver Surfer-esque alien race may be pulling the strings.
And besides, all faults are forgiven on any show that climaxes with Voodoo Child by Rogue Traders blasting out. Roll on next week.
The whole episode felt like a high-budget version of The Demon Headmaster, which is no bad thing. Finding out more about the oft-mentioned Time War - and the Doctor's early days - was also a boon, and it's really high time that Freema Agyeman was given a chance to be the kick-ass hero of the piece - let's hope she does it make it through to the next series, though there is something very strange going on with all those tabloid stories...
John Simm's not doing too bad a job as the Master - not as sinister as I remember from my childhood, but equally coming into his own against David Tennant in the sub-Timothy Claypole-acting-style stakes. Sharing the same infatuation with humankind as the Doctor, it seems the Master may not prove to be the outright villain of the piece and some Silver Surfer-esque alien race may be pulling the strings.
And besides, all faults are forgiven on any show that climaxes with Voodoo Child by Rogue Traders blasting out. Roll on next week.
Where did it all go right?
When did Hollyoaks start to get good? Now that the malevolent spirit of Phil Redmond has finally been exorcised, C4's tea-time soap is more than an Aryn tits and ass show and now has some pretty good storylines, actors and writing. They've finally got the narrative substance to go with the flashy camera work and banging music style we've put up with the past 10 years.
The latest bunch of new recruits are all well drawn characters, rather than the awful student stereotypes Redmond first inflicted on us. The initially irritating McQueens have now turned into an excellent clan capable of both great comedy and drama, while new life has been breathed into the Ashworth and Barnes families. Even the students are gelling together.
Best of all, and unlike other soaps, Hollyoaks bad girl and guy - Clare and Warren - are relentlessly bad. There's absolutely no attempt made to excuse their actions and Clare, in particular, is just dementedly evil in a H&A Angie Russell kind of way. And last Friday's episode with it's beautifully shot 'who pushed Clare' double-cliffhanger was the best episode of any soap for a fair few weeks. More of this sort of thing, please.
The latest bunch of new recruits are all well drawn characters, rather than the awful student stereotypes Redmond first inflicted on us. The initially irritating McQueens have now turned into an excellent clan capable of both great comedy and drama, while new life has been breathed into the Ashworth and Barnes families. Even the students are gelling together.
Best of all, and unlike other soaps, Hollyoaks bad girl and guy - Clare and Warren - are relentlessly bad. There's absolutely no attempt made to excuse their actions and Clare, in particular, is just dementedly evil in a H&A Angie Russell kind of way. And last Friday's episode with it's beautifully shot 'who pushed Clare' double-cliffhanger was the best episode of any soap for a fair few weeks. More of this sort of thing, please.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Rome if you want to..
Rome's back and it's still the most extravagant, dementedly brilliant drama in living memory. And for that reason, it was possibly watched about seven people on Wednesday night.
No other programme on TV at the moment has even half as sharp dialogue with Rome's writers taking full advantage of writing in Shakespearean prose. Those Romans were just so politically incorrect, needlessly violent and outright bitchy that the characters can pretty much say what the like.
And the characters are all brilliantly brought to life. Atia and Servilla are the roman precursors of Alexis and Krystal Carrington, only Servilla surprises by being more than a match for her superbitch nemesis. Marc Anthony is so damn cock-sure that he does most of his business minus his toga. Octavian is so whiny you can't wait for him to get his just deserts (and being coerced into sleeping with his sister last season was quite some dessert) while the two-faced Cicero is just hilariously fawning.
It's a shame we won't get more than two series of this grossly over-the-top series, but at least it won't fade away like other top US shows do when moronic British schedulers get scared by viewing figures and tuck them away late at night. Rome is series that needs to be watched, rewatched and adored.
No other programme on TV at the moment has even half as sharp dialogue with Rome's writers taking full advantage of writing in Shakespearean prose. Those Romans were just so politically incorrect, needlessly violent and outright bitchy that the characters can pretty much say what the like.
And the characters are all brilliantly brought to life. Atia and Servilla are the roman precursors of Alexis and Krystal Carrington, only Servilla surprises by being more than a match for her superbitch nemesis. Marc Anthony is so damn cock-sure that he does most of his business minus his toga. Octavian is so whiny you can't wait for him to get his just deserts (and being coerced into sleeping with his sister last season was quite some dessert) while the two-faced Cicero is just hilariously fawning.
It's a shame we won't get more than two series of this grossly over-the-top series, but at least it won't fade away like other top US shows do when moronic British schedulers get scared by viewing figures and tuck them away late at night. Rome is series that needs to be watched, rewatched and adored.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Everyone Loves... Ron Rifkin
If they gave out Oscars for shifty-looking, small-faced, beardy men, then surely Ron Rifkin would have a mantelpiece crammed with golden trinkets.
For years he was the duplicitous, terror-group leader Arvin Sloane in Alias. From day one we knew he was up to no good, but we just wanted him to prove he wasn't out-and-out evil. We thought his love for his wife might stop him committing atrocities, but he gladly sacrificed her to save himself. When he inexplicably became head of the World Health Organisation, we hoped he would finally turn over a new leaf - only to be disappointed to find out he was involved with the evil Covenant. In season four's ill-advised reboot, even the CIA appeared to give him another chance and put in charge of a new spec-ops unit - but he ended up sacrificing his long-lost daughter to achieve immortality using an ancient prophecy. What a guy.
And now Ron's back on TV in Brothers & Sisters and we still don't know whether he's really a good guy. It does seem like he isn't responsible for stealing the family firm's pension fund, but he's just so darn shifty looking, he could well be sleeping with his sister Sally Field or something even seedier. Which is why we love him.
And isn't it about time some US network brought us the Alias spin-off The Continuing Adventures of Arvin Sloane and Jack Bristow? Victor Garber is the only other silver-fox actor who can out-shift Rifkin.
For years he was the duplicitous, terror-group leader Arvin Sloane in Alias. From day one we knew he was up to no good, but we just wanted him to prove he wasn't out-and-out evil. We thought his love for his wife might stop him committing atrocities, but he gladly sacrificed her to save himself. When he inexplicably became head of the World Health Organisation, we hoped he would finally turn over a new leaf - only to be disappointed to find out he was involved with the evil Covenant. In season four's ill-advised reboot, even the CIA appeared to give him another chance and put in charge of a new spec-ops unit - but he ended up sacrificing his long-lost daughter to achieve immortality using an ancient prophecy. What a guy.
And now Ron's back on TV in Brothers & Sisters and we still don't know whether he's really a good guy. It does seem like he isn't responsible for stealing the family firm's pension fund, but he's just so darn shifty looking, he could well be sleeping with his sister Sally Field or something even seedier. Which is why we love him.
And isn't it about time some US network brought us the Alias spin-off The Continuing Adventures of Arvin Sloane and Jack Bristow? Victor Garber is the only other silver-fox actor who can out-shift Rifkin.
Out of the Dragons' Den, Into the Fire…
So long as ITV doesn't relegate it to the early hours, Tycoon looks set to be compulsively bad. It was always going to be poor, but even I was surprised by the total lack of reality in Peter Jones' new reality series.
With six businesses suddenly operating under the eye of Jones at the illogically named Tycoon Towers (it was neither a tower nor, we later learned, was it ever likely to house any tycoons), we're supposed to believe that these business novices have the know-how to run a company with only the most rudimentary comments from the jolly lean giant. Clearly there are a million researchers doing everything for these people, but no explanation was given as to how the lovely Sod Gardening girls were able to sell a grand's worth of polo shirts in one week or how the camp teen produced his terrible tabloid.
Which does bring us to the show's major selling point - most of the potential entrepreneurs are awful, awful human beings, with a coulpe of nice guys/gals who'll eventually win the day. Who to hate the most? Elizabeth and her lame alco-smoothie are pretty bad, but teen Tom and his dire newspaper for kids could be the most hateful contestant. Watching them fail, while the nicer players succeed, is great, cathartic television.
One big stumbling block is Peter Jones himself. He seems so hands off, issuing vague instructions such as a team should change its name, it surely must be his fault when the wannabes fail. Plus, he's picked up that awful thing Gordon Ramsay does on Kitchen Nightmares, speaking softly to someone just off camera as a appraises the situation. So far he doesn't have the gravitas of Alan Sugar, or even Ruth Badger, to inspire viewers to turn in. His decision to invite the businesses he's planning to close to 'the pier' also makes him sound more like a Brighton-based gangster than a hard-nosed businessman.
I can't wait to see who's heading for that pier next week...
With six businesses suddenly operating under the eye of Jones at the illogically named Tycoon Towers (it was neither a tower nor, we later learned, was it ever likely to house any tycoons), we're supposed to believe that these business novices have the know-how to run a company with only the most rudimentary comments from the jolly lean giant. Clearly there are a million researchers doing everything for these people, but no explanation was given as to how the lovely Sod Gardening girls were able to sell a grand's worth of polo shirts in one week or how the camp teen produced his terrible tabloid.
Which does bring us to the show's major selling point - most of the potential entrepreneurs are awful, awful human beings, with a coulpe of nice guys/gals who'll eventually win the day. Who to hate the most? Elizabeth and her lame alco-smoothie are pretty bad, but teen Tom and his dire newspaper for kids could be the most hateful contestant. Watching them fail, while the nicer players succeed, is great, cathartic television.
One big stumbling block is Peter Jones himself. He seems so hands off, issuing vague instructions such as a team should change its name, it surely must be his fault when the wannabes fail. Plus, he's picked up that awful thing Gordon Ramsay does on Kitchen Nightmares, speaking softly to someone just off camera as a appraises the situation. So far he doesn't have the gravitas of Alan Sugar, or even Ruth Badger, to inspire viewers to turn in. His decision to invite the businesses he's planning to close to 'the pier' also makes him sound more like a Brighton-based gangster than a hard-nosed businessman.
I can't wait to see who's heading for that pier next week...
Saturday, June 09, 2007
High on Home and Away
Oh, nothing makes me madder than the pointless handling of "sensitive issues" in soap. Especially when the soap is too afraid to actually tackle the real issue.
Home and Away writers, are you listening? Yes, it's very honorable that you're doing a slow-burning anti-drugs storyline, but why are you doing it in such a faffy manner. Here's where you're going wrong...
1. Why introduce a new character purposely to be a drug addict. You perhaps don't want to sully any of your bronzed beauties with this plot, but it would make more of an impact if Ric or Jack had started snorting coke rather than bringing in comedy stoner James.
2. He's addicted to cannabis - which isn't really that addictive or that shocking. Yes, he's a nurse who should really avoid these things, but still. Not very dramatic.
3. The guy playing James looks like he's stumbled out of Dude, Where's My Car. He is such the archetypal pot-head, with sandals and a grandad shirt, should anyone really be surprised by his actions?
Admittedly, it's nice to have a storyline that doesn't involve kidnapping, stalking, murder or blackmail, but the James/Kit/Kim drugs plot just isn't very exciting. Please end it soon.
Home and Away writers, are you listening? Yes, it's very honorable that you're doing a slow-burning anti-drugs storyline, but why are you doing it in such a faffy manner. Here's where you're going wrong...
1. Why introduce a new character purposely to be a drug addict. You perhaps don't want to sully any of your bronzed beauties with this plot, but it would make more of an impact if Ric or Jack had started snorting coke rather than bringing in comedy stoner James.
2. He's addicted to cannabis - which isn't really that addictive or that shocking. Yes, he's a nurse who should really avoid these things, but still. Not very dramatic.
3. The guy playing James looks like he's stumbled out of Dude, Where's My Car. He is such the archetypal pot-head, with sandals and a grandad shirt, should anyone really be surprised by his actions?
Admittedly, it's nice to have a storyline that doesn't involve kidnapping, stalking, murder or blackmail, but the James/Kit/Kim drugs plot just isn't very exciting. Please end it soon.
So, farewell XFM
XFM, how I did love you. I thought Christian O'Connell (though now a bit of a monster on Virgin) was the ideal antithesis of Chris Moyles or Chris Tarrant at breakfast time, until Lauren Laverne took over and brought a laid-back, Wogan-esque attitude to proceedings. You turned Richard Bacon from a washed-up kids's presenter to a lo-fi comedy genius, brought Adam and Jo out of their rest home, introduced the South to Shaun Keaveney (and his god-awful What's the Story item) and proved that Justin Lee Collins and Jimmy Carr were actually rather funny when not just do their routines now.
And look at you now. Wannabe indie-pixie Alex Zane - so bad on Popworld they decided to bury the whole programme - at breakfast, constantly telling us that certain records are really good to enforce his self-proclaimed music credentials. (Let's not forget that when he was on MTV, he was actually doing the MOVIE show not a MUSIC one). After just a couple of weeks, I'm actually tuning in to Moyles and finding him far more witty than I previously thought. Then in the daytime you've axed all the DJS, so your station now has all the artisitc integrity of the Heat radio station or Magic FM or just playing a copy of NOW 89 all day long. And let's not even get into the Adam and Jo wannabes that are fortysomething, Muswell Hill types Bob and Andy...
Sort yourself out. I listen to XFM partly for the music, but also to be entertained. I can just listen to my iTunes if I want music, but I want to learn what's going on in the world as well or what happened in Big Brother last night when I'm too much of a snob to personally tune in. As it is, I'm going to have to buy a DAB radio for every room of the flat now and tune into the slightly snobbish 6Music, which is really quite a sad state of affairs.
And look at you now. Wannabe indie-pixie Alex Zane - so bad on Popworld they decided to bury the whole programme - at breakfast, constantly telling us that certain records are really good to enforce his self-proclaimed music credentials. (Let's not forget that when he was on MTV, he was actually doing the MOVIE show not a MUSIC one). After just a couple of weeks, I'm actually tuning in to Moyles and finding him far more witty than I previously thought. Then in the daytime you've axed all the DJS, so your station now has all the artisitc integrity of the Heat radio station or Magic FM or just playing a copy of NOW 89 all day long. And let's not even get into the Adam and Jo wannabes that are fortysomething, Muswell Hill types Bob and Andy...
Sort yourself out. I listen to XFM partly for the music, but also to be entertained. I can just listen to my iTunes if I want music, but I want to learn what's going on in the world as well or what happened in Big Brother last night when I'm too much of a snob to personally tune in. As it is, I'm going to have to buy a DAB radio for every room of the flat now and tune into the slightly snobbish 6Music, which is really quite a sad state of affairs.
Everyone Hates... Sheila's Wheels
Aaaaarrrgghhh. New Sheila's Wheels advert now playing incessantly on all sub-ITV2 channels. I imagine they're just playing it on an eternal loop over on Five Life right now.
The sheer catchiness of the Sheila's Wheels song is pure genius - instantly warping into a never-ending 12inch remix in your brain. And now there are new verses to learn, your mind may never be your own again as it worms its way into areas previous reserved for important information - such as where you left the keys or did you leave the gas on.
Added to the grotesque, Muriel's Wedding-esque, overly made-up caricatures performing in the pink cadillac, the whole caboodle is impossible to ignore and ever harder to flick away from. Whoever came up with the ad either needs locking in a crazy house or given a million pounds by ITV to create an insane new sitcom.
And rumours abound that the Sheila's Wheels bogan babes are set to release a single, which could be exactly why all live music programmes have been taken off TV of late...
The sheer catchiness of the Sheila's Wheels song is pure genius - instantly warping into a never-ending 12inch remix in your brain. And now there are new verses to learn, your mind may never be your own again as it worms its way into areas previous reserved for important information - such as where you left the keys or did you leave the gas on.
Added to the grotesque, Muriel's Wedding-esque, overly made-up caricatures performing in the pink cadillac, the whole caboodle is impossible to ignore and ever harder to flick away from. Whoever came up with the ad either needs locking in a crazy house or given a million pounds by ITV to create an insane new sitcom.
And rumours abound that the Sheila's Wheels bogan babes are set to release a single, which could be exactly why all live music programmes have been taken off TV of late...
Lost v Heroes
It can't be denied that Heroes has been rather splendid. But having finally got round to watching the last in the series (no thanks to rubbish Sky Broadband) and thoroughly enjoying it, I've realised that I still much prefer Lost.
The hype around Heroes has been that it's basically like Lost, but with answers. But what questions were there to answer really? The issue of where these powers have come from hasn't even been addressed, and the only other mysteries were who Sylar was and how were the good heroes going to stop the bomb. The thing I love about Lost is that it is too darned mysterious, asking three more questions for everyone it answers. And let's face it, we haven't really had any answers. Even the supposed big reveals about Ben's past, Jacob, the future didn't offer any real facts.
I'm essentially trapped in an abusive relationship with Lost - the worse it treats me, the more I want to tune in. Whereas with Heroes, it's marvellous entertainment, but going four weeks before seeing the last three episodes wasn't really a chore. I can't wait for either to return, though Lost now has a reputation for killer, throwing-off-scent season premieres and that's just what I want.
The hype around Heroes has been that it's basically like Lost, but with answers. But what questions were there to answer really? The issue of where these powers have come from hasn't even been addressed, and the only other mysteries were who Sylar was and how were the good heroes going to stop the bomb. The thing I love about Lost is that it is too darned mysterious, asking three more questions for everyone it answers. And let's face it, we haven't really had any answers. Even the supposed big reveals about Ben's past, Jacob, the future didn't offer any real facts.
I'm essentially trapped in an abusive relationship with Lost - the worse it treats me, the more I want to tune in. Whereas with Heroes, it's marvellous entertainment, but going four weeks before seeing the last three episodes wasn't really a chore. I can't wait for either to return, though Lost now has a reputation for killer, throwing-off-scent season premieres and that's just what I want.
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