“The Dullest Episode Ever of My Two Dads”

So, what to make of the second series of Heroes? So far, it’s not living up to the hype, though as Lost has so often brought itself back from the brink, I really hope Heroes can do the same. The first series slowed to a snail’s pace towards the anti-climactic climax, and season two shows no sign of increasing the tempo. Admittedly there needs to be a little bit of scene setting, but three episodes in and there’s still nothing of interest to report. Here are some initial thoughts.

- Peter appears to be trapped in 1940s Boston masquerading as 2007 Ireland. If this isn’t more embarrassing than any episode of Lost featuring a Desmond or Charlie flashback, I don’t know what is. There are some terrible accents – including one from that guy who used to be Enterprise and Desmonds who really has no excuse – and the sets are as authentic Little England in Arrested Development. Peter has also been to the gym between series and thus rarely wears a vest. Oh, and he has amnesia but has decided he doesn’t want to find out who he is – so this terrible situation drags on. There’s a huge sp-what factor here, mainly caused by the fact Peter is now ultra powerful and can’t be killed – there’s simply nothing to risk here.

- Hiro has gone back in time to ancient Japan where he’s encountered Mr Sark from Alias who has given being an evil genius hottie and become a bit of light relief. After all, if there’s one thing funnier than a Japanese geek it’s a British Frank Spencer impersonator. Hiro has to make Sark into the greatest hero Japan has ever seen as history already dictates. As irksome as this all is, I’m really hoping Hiro’s time-tinkering will some how lead to Mr Sark becoming the biggest bad we’ve ever seen. Please make it so.

- Meanwhile brother Nathan isn’t president, does seem to have lovely Rena Sopher for a wife anymore and now sports a rather grating fake beard. He reckons Peter’s dead – if that was me, I’d be cartwheeling through the streets and praying Mohinder’s next.

- Several new Heroes have appeared, but it appears the producers have run out of gifts, so they just fly or regenerate like the others. One new power belongs to a Mexican lass who can kill people by apparently crying blood – not really a great gift, but there’s a chance this storyline is going somewhere. So far, it’s hard to care.

- Clare, HRG, Mrs HRG and Mr Muggles are all now on an adhoc witness relocation scheme, hiding from the company. HRG is now out and proud with his clan and is far less interesting for it. Mrs HRG still speaks in a funny, eccentric voice which makes it irking when she has some valuable exposition to deliver. Clare has fallen into the arms of another Hero, despite the fact his whole chat-up routine was to incessantly ully her. Why do none of the women in this show have a brain?

- In what could be the dullest episode ever of My Two Dads, Matt’s dumped his wife and has chosen to shack up with Mohinder and adopt little Hero-spotter Molly. Despite now looking after a traumatised child, they’ve decided to move into Mohinder’s dad’s flat, which has no natural light, wallpaper hanging off the walls and is regularly broken into. Mohinder is now a double-agent, helping HRM bring down the Company.

- Sylar’s back (yey!) as is Niki (double yey!). But they both don’t really seem to be doing much (boo). Another crowd pleaser is Mama Petrelli, though it looks like her past is coming back to haunt her. Killing off another mysterious character proved more of a disappointment than a shocking twist. Still, there’s always more former sci-fi show favourites you can hire…

I know it seems like I’m really laying into the show, but it’s only because I care. We need top TV like this to survive and keep its audience before the Beeb put it on at half six or the middle of night. Let’s hope all hell breaks loose come episode four…

“Never knowingly fully dressed”

Words cannot begin to explain how much I miss Rome, so I was hopeful BBC2’s The Tudors could somehow fill that void. And it kind of does – though without scaling the dizzy heights of twisted drama, hilarious dialogue and sublime excess of its swords and sandals predecessor.

Disappointingly, The Tudors is played totally straight, with only the odd, far too softcore sex scene there to remind you that you’re not watching a BBC learning docu-drama. Rome used the fact that we all knew how it was all going to end to its advantage, spicing up proceedings with double-edged one-liners and dramatic irony. The dialogue in The Tudors isn’t half as funny – in fact the only thing remotely funny is Sam Neill who appears to have come along dressed as Cardinal Richelieu from Dogtanian.

What The Tudors does have in common with Rome is the unflinchingly testosterone levels, giving a homoerotic feel to the drama. Jonathan Rhys Meyers is superb as Henry VIII, as cocky, conceited and bullish as a medieval monarch should be. Never knowingly fully dressed, Henry bed-hops, wrestled and jousts his way through his leadership and looks great at all times. His entourage - including Henry Cavil and Callum Blue – are equally photogenic and obliging when it comes to gratuitous nudity.

The sex and action sequences are great. Things falter when Sam Neill or Jeremy Northam appear in their roles as Basil Exposition. And what we’re really missing is a strong woman – at the heart of Rome was the rivalry between pushy mothers/mistresses Atia and Servilia. The Tudors is far more a masculine affair, and that’s what lets it down – we need some scheming wenches and hopefully Queen Katherine will grow into that role soon.

“The Next Big Underrated Comedy?”

Another void that needs filling is the chasm left by Arrested Development. Again, a near-impossible task (though Flight of the Conchords does get pretty good by the end of its run) but until that special sitcom comes along there’s 30 Rock. Ignored by all the magazines and pundits who raved about the smugly abysmal Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, 30 Rock covers similar ground but without being all preachy and condescending about it.

Focusing on the writer of a comedy show as she deals with a new know-nothing boss, an insane new star as well as all the existing writers and talent on the programme, it’s actually pretty good and contained at least three laugh-out-loud moments – more than you get in an entire year on BBC3. The digs about cash-counting executives ruining TV shows and strangling creativity are far less heavy-handed here than the Perry and Co alternative, though Alec Baldwin is great as the suit who’s decided to shake things up for no other reason than to ‘make his mark’.

Actually, the casting is all pretty good. Writer and star Tina ‘Mean Girls’ Fey is thoroughly likable and doesn’t hog all the best lines, while any show featuring Jane Krakowski is a good thing – especially as she’s so willing to be the butt of all jokes. In fact the only thing not going for 30 Rock is its ridiculous time slot, C5 following in the grand BBC tradition of putting its best stuff out in the middle of the night. It’s still too early to really be sure, but 30 Rock could be the next big underrated comedy.

“Prompting some public guffawing”

Mitchell and Webb had a 60:40 good-sketch to bad-sketch ratio. Dog Face a 40:60, Adam and Shelley a 20:80. So it’s good news for Peter Serafinowicz – the second episode was close to 80:20, a rare feat especially as many of those sketches did prompt some public guffawing.

Top sketches this week were X-Factor hybrid “You’re a Cxxt”, the vampire working on a shopping channel, the guide to having babies, Michael-6 again (which will probably be the best of the series’ running skits) and Brian Butterfield’s new detective agency.

So far, so very good. And though it’s great the series has premiered on BBC2, the lack of any BBC3 ‘narrative repeats’ is irking as the two episodes so far have required second viewing. Top marks.