Why Channel 4, why?

There are so few programmes worth watching that don't feature selling houses, revamping houses, buying houses, so why are two of America's hottest imports being pushed into rubbish slots. The programmes in question are Smallville and The OC - popular with kids, teens and adults alike - and they've just been dumped in a Sunday, mid-afternoon slot. It's almost as if C4 wants them to fail, so they can replace them with old episodes of Friends and Bewitched. Let's just hope they don't screw up with new episodes of The Simpsons. Though they probably will...

Rubbish Soap Family Alert

Could the Miller family in EastEnders prove to be even more pointless and unpopular than the SoapStar family in Emmerdale? It's not looking good so far. As well as being a total rip-off of the Battersbys, circa late-1990s, there just seems to be no way for them to integrate into Walford. Whose going to befriend a bunch of characters that have been designed to be as vile as possible? The Slaters and Ferreras already go around in their own little bubbles, only appearing in scenes with their own family members. The Millers are text book annoying family (dad's handy with his fists, the daughter's got a star name, they've got a dirrty dog, etc). Surely the producers are planning to give them some depth? Or will they just remain two-dimensial stereotypes like so many other Albert Square regulars?

Stop Everything. Now.

Channel Five is reshowing Sunset Beach! From Monday 4 September! At 10.20am!
Not sure if it's going to be the whole series, or picking up right from the (not-that-exciting) start. But it's worth setting the video, if not getting Sky+, for!

Worst Series Finale. Ever.

Was that it? Was that seriously it? Bad Girls went out with a whimper last night, neglecting to throw in any cliffhangers or teasers for the next series. All we got was a dream sequence featuring Fenner fearing a life in prison. And some rubbish about Darlene thinking Buxton had hexed her. And the Selena and Kathy Beale Junior aloft a marble arch, campaigning for the rights of women. Spare me.
We needed a police raid during Fenner's wedding, a Kill Bill-style battle to the death between Natalie Buxton and Frances Myers, a kitchen explosion wiping out the two Julies (please let happen soon), and Selena toppling off the marble arch with only that handcuff and KBJ between her and certain death. Note to Shed productions: Employ me!

It's So Not Number One

Right, it's had time to settle down - is (All New) Top of the Pops actually any better than the All Old incarnation? Well, not really, no. For the past few years, TOTP had been the pop show that hates pop music, always ready to substitute a pop belter at number two for some indie dirge that scraped into the charts at number 36. Under the misguided belief that only tunes with guitars are credible, the show reflected less and less the state of the pop charts, resembling more a show put together by a group of ageing Q readers.
All New TOTP made a good start by reinstating its funky, mid-1990s theme tune (the one after the Wizzard, but before the one the Pet Shop Boys did), but also emulated the nineties version by installing a bland, terrified presenter to anchor the show. Thankfully Fern Cotton has since been roped in to add gravitas, but the weak 24/7 news section remains, as does impromptu reports by Christina Christianson (who?) on the state of the charts in New Zealand. Some weeks we even get the album chart, though the presentation of this and the singles charts is fairly random.
Having not seen the show for the past month, I was quite pleased to discover that Friday's show was quite successful as it took its lead from the singles chart, and through in a drop of Girls Aloud as a bonus. In terms of guests, it was no disappointment - though bigger pop performances could make the show must-see - and as soon as the presenting situation is sorted out and the chat minimised, TOTP could be a rival for a potentially Cat-less CD:UK. But then again, so could C4's new pop video show...

Result!

In a move that perhaps has nothing to do with my campaigning/whinging, it appears that 24 bosses have decided to bring the fabulously miserable and neurotic Chloe back for season four. From the spoilers on Ain't It Cool, it seems she could have a bigger role. Perhaps we'll even get to see her in the field, like kick-ass Michelle in series three. Who knows? Let's not get our hopes up, it's not even hitting US screens until early next year...

You leave the country for a couple of weeks...

...and all hell breaks loose. Not that the whole Debbie/Ethan thing hasn't been severely sign posted for months, but surely Emmerdale can come up with something a bit more original so soon after Corrie's Martin/Katy plot?!? And now Diane's been inflicted with a bad-taste cancer plot. At least the demented Alan/Steph storyline could be fun, and Nasty Nicola's as entertaining as ever. Over in Corrie, I not sure about Tracy and Ciaran shacking up together, and Karen's exit doesn't sound like fun - but at least you've got Jack in drag and thingy from Queer as Folk to provide some laughs. Obviously, EastEnders is a as awful as ever - they just need to give Chrissie Watts more to do. And thankfully they've given Vicki the push. Finally, I really can't work out which Hollyoaks characters have been given the boot in the annual summer clear-out. Once they've had their one-episode exit plot, they're never mentioned again.

Anyway, I've got a couple of week's worth of Inside Soap and Heat to catch up on. More soon...

A Normal Service Will Resume...

As I'll be away from British TV, and the ropey stories about top TV shows in the tabloids, for the next fortnight, I won't be updating my blog for a while. So what better way to sign off than with a comedy soap picture? Tatty bye!