You leave the country for a couple of weeks...

...and all hell breaks loose. Not that the whole Debbie/Ethan thing hasn't been severely sign posted for months, but surely Emmerdale can come up with something a bit more original so soon after Corrie's Martin/Katy plot?!? And now Diane's been inflicted with a bad-taste cancer plot. At least the demented Alan/Steph storyline could be fun, and Nasty Nicola's as entertaining as ever. Over in Corrie, I not sure about Tracy and Ciaran shacking up together, and Karen's exit doesn't sound like fun - but at least you've got Jack in drag and thingy from Queer as Folk to provide some laughs. Obviously, EastEnders is a as awful as ever - they just need to give Chrissie Watts more to do. And thankfully they've given Vicki the push. Finally, I really can't work out which Hollyoaks characters have been given the boot in the annual summer clear-out. Once they've had their one-episode exit plot, they're never mentioned again.

Anyway, I've got a couple of week's worth of Inside Soap and Heat to catch up on. More soon...