It started with such promise, but Sky1's Gladiators reboot has been a bit of a disappointment. Who'd have thought getting the same gladiators to play the same games week in, week out would get a little boring? Well, me for one. The first run of the original series suffered because the same five events were used every edition - surely someone at Sky was aware of that?
Well, probably, no - as their effort has been based on the inferior American Gladiators. Fewer games, more contestant sob stories and not enough time spent getting to know the gladiators themselves - they're the stars of the show, not the idiot contestants, Sky! And it's the contestants that have ruined this series - they're bloody hopeless and no match for the glads. I spoke to John Anderson at the start of the series and he said he would be failing in his job if he'd chosen gladiators who couldn't beat the contenders. But it's boring TV if Spartan and Panther knock their opponents off Duel within five seconds every week.
And we haven't had the chance to meet the gladiators anyway - only the mouthy ones like Tornado and Oblivion don't get their comments cut out. Instead we have to listen to the vein, vapid contestants talking about their dull lives, lucky pants, god and dead relatives all the time. We don't care - we just want to see these people get whacked over the head with a pugil stick. More time should have been spent making the gladiators into actual characters - Spartan's hilarious with his continual posing and Atlas is quite clearly a closet geek, more such of been made of this. And why are all the female gladiators so miserable - look at Lightning, Jet and brilliantly bouffanted Panther, they made the original series more fun.
This is what we need to make series two must-see TV...
1) More events every week - cut out the waffle, get more games in.
2) Vary the games - obviously there's not space for some of the brilliant old arena games any more, but Tilt, Whiplash, Vertigo and Suspension Bridge could all work.
3) Make the games you have got work. You apparently can't wrestle on Earthquake, just push. You're not allowed to touch the demolition balls in Hit and Run, nor can you wait for them to pass - so what are you supposed to do? Hang Tough is played on a grid the size of a postage stamp so there's no room for dodging. And the Eliminator just doesn't work - what are the Cotton Reels for, exactly?
4) Find some contestants that can actually take on the gladiators.
5) Spend more time on developing the gladiators' characters - they're the brand, not the contestants...
If you want to know how to do it, Sky, watch the old episodes on Challenge or tune in to the new Australian version. Please sort it out.
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