Bring Back John Sachs!

I've put off putting my thoughts about Sky One's stab at Gladiators onto LCD as I was initially disappointed by the 21st-century revamp. The sets seem small, the gladiators themselves lack personality, the contestants have been hopeless and offered no contest to the glads, and the first episode committed the cardinal sin of kicking off with Duel.

Kicking off with Duel - Duel is the final gladiator v contestant contest of the show! Hell's bells, what were they thinking? Next thing they'll be bringing back Dogfight...

Thankfully, I've been snapped out of this line of thinking thanks to catching an edition from the first-ever series on Challenge. Ulrika and Fash were appalling hosts, some of the early gladiators were pretty lame, and sticking to the same games every week was enormously tedious.

Plus, the second Sky One show was a big improvement - despite the contestants being rather hopeless and the gladiators remarkably humourless. This is one of the first things that needs to be addressed - the glads need character. Only a few of the new heroes stand out so far: Oblivion for his beady eyes and staccato put-downs, Battleaxe for her Northern smiley demeanor, and Atlas and Spartan for genuinely being nice guys. All the others are too obsessed with trying to be the new Wolf, Shadow or Nightshade. Where's the new Jet, Lightning or Cobra?

Other aspects that aren't quite working are the new Eliminator (the 'cotton bud' things seem impossible, and why make the contestants all wet and slippery before they have to hold onto anything?), the commentary (bring back John Sachs!), and playing just four games a week is a bit of a let down.

But despite this, I'm now on message with the new Gladiators. This country needs a break from sappy musical talent shows and programmes in which celebrities demean themselves. If ITV1 had brought back Gladiators and given it a decent budget, things would be peachy. As it stands, Sky are doing a pretty good job on a limited stash of cash. And hopefully by the time this series concludes, the glads will have worked out who they are, the contestants will be able to fight back on Duel and some new games will have spiced things up. Roll on the Old v New Gladiator special!