Five Unfunny Things on TV This Week

1. Max and Paddy - Such a waste. Stilted comedy banter (the script is built around a couple of jokes), uncharismatic leads, and elaborately heavy handed movie spoofs – it’s like watching an episode of The Simpsons on slow-mo. Pheonix Nights succeeded because of its broad range of brilliant characters, and Max and Paddy were always the least convincing. Hanging a series around them is madness. Just because John Cleese only made two series of Fawlty Towers, why do other comics struggle to make more than twelve episodes of their comedies?

2. EastEnders’ football plot – Supposedly light relief, but what do we need light relief from? Quality shows such as The Sopranos or Twin Peaks carry off the switch between good comedy and heart-rending drama perfectly, realising that a scene becomes even more emotional or scary if it is preceded by laughs. EastEnders has no light or shade at the moment, so how it can hope to play with out emotions by offering jaw-dropping contrasts like Corrie does? Oh, and the Miller family just don’t work.

3. French and Saunders – Stick with the Christmas specials, girls. Spreading their meagre material to a six-week run was overkill. The running gag was that Dawn and Jen were being forced to write a new series and had no idea what to fill it with. Well, the joke was on us. Even the usually excellent film parodies were lame. A Kill Bill pastiche was thrown away, while the Cold Mountain spoof was saved by a natty faux director’s commentary.

4. Dead Ringers – Disappointing this. ‘Twas once full of very-Radio Four-esque humour and pretty good impressions. But now that there’s a new series every few months, the material is running thin. Give it a rest, eh?

5. The Kumars at No 42 – lame Mrs Merton rip-off. Never was funny. Never will be funny. And the same goes for the soon-to-be repeated Keith Barrett Show. Anyone can make of z-list celebs, why not try writing something amusing?